How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (and What to Do Instead)

Hello Lady Leos! Let's talk about something I think we all struggle with at some point: comparing ourselves to others. 

My Story:

I was catching up on my usual YouTube channel when my gal started a new series of remodeling properties she had JUST bought. Not only that, she was showing off her newly improved body by giving her watchers some tips on weight loss. 

This was a shock to me. 

As many of you know, I had a rough pregnancy which resulted in me gaining a little over 80 pounds. I have since lost about 90% of that weight in the last 2 years. But little, ignorant me didn't understand that just because you looked one way before the baby doesn't mean your body will look the same after you lose the weight. Ladies, my body looks NOTHING like it did before. That was already the reality weighing on me as each week I became closer and closer to the weight I was before getting pregnant. So seeing this woman's beautiful body was the perfect window into the negative thoughts of comparison. Moving on to what many of you don't know, is that it is a dream of my family to own multiple properties. So the insult to injury just kept growing. But, don't worry, I realized what was happening and quickly unsubscribed to the channel. Not because I no longer wanted to support her, but because my mental state was not where it could positively be inspired by this person at this time. To understand where I am coming from please keep reading. I promise it gets better and I’m all the better for deep diving into myself about this issue I was having.

The truth is, we compare ourselves to others so that our brain knows how we measure up to the people around us. It can be motivating and a thing that pushes us to keep going if we are inspired by someone. But sometimes, that sneaky little habit of looking at what someone else has gets us thinking, "Why don't I have that?" or "Why am I not like them?" It’s a common trap, but it can really bring us down. So, let's dive into how to stop doing this and what we can focus on instead!

1. Recognize That Comparison is Natural (But Sometimes Not Helpful)

First things first, it’s important to realize that comparing yourself to others is completely normal. We all do it! But just because it's natural doesn't mean it's always helpful. When left to unhealthy thoughts it usually ends with you in a sour mood and frustrated. When you compare yourself to someone else, you are defeating your own life’s accomplishments. The truth is, you’re usually only seeing their highlights—their best moments—without knowing the whole story. It’s like comparing your behind-the-scenes footage to someone else’s highlight reel. 

2. Focus on Your Own Journey

One of the best ways to stop comparing yourself to others is to focus on your own path. Everyone's journey is different, and that's what makes life interesting! Think about where you were a year ago, five years ago, or even last month. How much have you grown? What have you learned? Celebrate your progress and your lessons learned, no matter how small it seems.

3. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful antidote to comparison. When you start feeling that itch to compare, take a moment to think about what you’re thankful for and your own accomplishments in your own life. Maybe it's your health, your friends, your talents, or even the small things like your morning coffee. Focusing on the good in your life can help shift your mindset from what you lack to what you already have.

4. Limit Your Social Media Intake

Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison. When you scroll through Instagram or Facebook (or Youtube in my case), it's easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to the carefully curated posts and videos of others. If you find this happening often, try taking a break from social media or setting limits on your screen time. Use that extra time to do something that makes you happy—read a book, go for a walk, or spend time with loved ones.

5. Celebrate Others Without Diminishing Yourself

It’s totally okay to admire others and even feel a bit inspired by them! The key is to celebrate their successes without letting it make you feel less than. When someone you know achieves something great, be genuinely happy for them. But remember, their success doesn’t take away from your own value or potential. You’re on your own path, and your time will come too.

6. Limiting Beliefs and Setting Your Own Goals

Understanding your limiting beliefs or false beliefs can have a major effect on why you seem to not be reaching your goals. Maybe you think you're not very smart because someone said so in your childhood, or maybe you feel unskilled in a certain field of work and you don't want to waste your time learning about it because you're not innately good at it. There can be a plethora of unnoticed limiting beliefs but now is the time to dive deep and find them so that you can focus on change. Take what you’ve learned about your false beliefs and find what you need to work on. Set goals that are meaningful to you. What do you want to achieve now that you know your limiting beliefs? What makes you feel fulfilled? When you’re focused on your own goals, you will be too busy doing your own thing to listen to the noise and distractions of others. Plus, you’ll feel more motivated because you’re working toward something that truly matters to you.

7. Be Kind to Yourself

Lastly, be kind to yourself. It’s easy to be your own worst critic, especially when you’re comparing yourself to others. Only you can stop you from this vicious cycle. So remember, you’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough. Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would show a friend who’s going through a tough time. 

Back to My Story

In my situation that channel was no longer serving me in the positive light that I needed it to. I say this with honesty, at this time, I could not distinguish between their achievements and my self-worth. I had put them high up on a pedestal and because of that, my pedestal was sitting so low in mud I couldn't tell it was there. 

2. Focus on Your Own Journey

Frankly I am so proud of myself for having been on a weightloss journey for 2 years straight. The old me would have given up after a few months. And on that note, we own our own home. Not many people can say that. We have done many of the upgrades to our home ourselves. How crazy to think about! The skills we have learned, we get to keep, no matter where we go. 

3. Practice Gratitude

I'm thankful for…

• My family

• Our determination 

• Our house being almost done

• My weightloss journey

• My morning Protein Coffee (yumm)

• Having a supportive loving partner

• Getting to be apart of my daughter's life

• Fitting into most of my clothes again

• Having a home to call my own

…..you get the gist. Be thankful, feel fulfilled. 

4. Limit Your Social Media Intake

As you read I turned off the notifications for this youtuber. After some time passed i was able to see that she works so hard at everything she does, Youtube, her clothing business, her ability to budget. So because of this realization I found other youtubers that would help me improve myself, my thought process, and my self love. I also went through other social media apps and unfollowed people that no longer served me. It's ok to unfollow people that no longer help you move forward in a positive direction for your life. It's ok. 

5. Celebrate Others Without Diminishing Yourself

Like I mentioned before, I wasn't quite here at this step yet, and that's OK. This step takes a major mind shift. For me, it took TIME. After consistently learning how to acknowledge my own achievements and being grateful for what I currently have, time flew by while my mindset slowly changed. 

6. Limiting Beliefs and Setting Your Own Goals

Oh boy, there is nothing like trying to recollect why you think about yourself the way you do. Its not the most comfortable thing I’ve done, but I have learned plenty about myself. Because of that hard work I get to ask myself what I want to be when I grow up. Now THAT is fun! 

7. Be Kind to Yourself

This step can be difficult if you haven't taken the time to learn about yourself and to do the gratitude journal constantly enough. How much is enough? I'm not sure. Enough until you realize you are amazing and so very capable of the life you want. It can be hard to be kind to yourself if you dont know yourself well enough to be able to pick yourself up and use the right loving words. The mindset to be kind to yourself needs to be practiced and then practiced some more. Give yourself a hug every day and tell yourself something you like about you. Give it a try. It seemed silly at first but after a while and after I started taking it seriously, it became the cause of much needed meditation and self dive journaling.

What to Do Instead of Comparing

Now that you’ve got some strategies to stop comparing yourself to others, here are a few things you can do instead:

1. Invest in Your Passions: Spend time doing what you love. Whether it's painting, cooking, or running, doing things that make you happy will help you feel more content with your own life.

2. Practice Mindfulness: Stay present and enjoy the moment. When you’re focused on the here and now, you’re less likely to worry about what others are doing.

3. Connect with People Who Uplift You: Surround yourself with positive people who support you and make you feel good about yourself.

4. Take Small Steps Toward Your Goals: Break down your goals into manageable steps and celebrate each little win along the way.

5. Reflect on Your Achievements: Take time to look back on what you’ve accomplished. You’ve come a long way, and it’s important to acknowledge that!

Final Thoughts

It’s okay to be inspired by others, but remember that you are unique, and your journey is yours alone. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on being the best version of you. You’ve got your own strengths, your own story, and your own dreams. Comparison leads to the death of Confidence and Courage. We also have a

Comparison Journal And Art Prompt

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Comparison Journal and Art Prompt (FREE) that would definitely help open your eyes to just how amazing you are! So check it out! Keep shining, and don’t let comparison dim your light. This is your Self-Love Era!

Here's to empowering yourself through creativity.

Lindy Codding,

Owner of All Things Leo

*DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed life coach, guru, therapist, or psychologist. Everything denoted in the passage above is personal experience. If ever something is wrong I will do my best to update information as soon as possible. 

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